Walk the line with eyes wide open.
a. i will need to bookmark this..it took me like fifteen minutes to find...jeez
b. walk the line blah blah ... yeah the topic
It’s taken me awhile to open my eyes. Wide may be a bit much, I’m still more of a peeker.
A squinter, a one eye closed the other open operator. i'm naive by choice and no less wise for it. Life can be refreshing not having 'been there, done that'
Now I venture to walk the line. I leaped over the line last year and ran back across.
I’ve been eyeing it trepidatiously for a few months. I now plan to walk it.
How?
I have friends many many fine, gorgeous, cute, male friends… the looks run the gamut. And yes at least 30-40% are true friends, most sexual thoughts and intentions are done and over with we value the friendship more and proceed from there gathering what bits of energy we get from each other that is not sexual.
I’ve lived my life thus far subverting my sexual energy, for the most part. I've had mini bursts ...erm...explosions even. Though few men have had the ability to access that aspect of me, few men were given access. I’ve always had the all or nothing approach. I’m going to work to change that, not change me but enhance me. Ima try and develop some skills ya’ll.
That’s the internal.
Externally I will also try and work on that…I acknowledge the current shell was formed because of the internal workings, making me an effective and safe entity for friendship. The subconscious is a bitch.
Currently I’m walking the line between friendship and…other. It’s a serious battle against the fully developed habit of friendship. It’s a test, a form of practice at the same time I do not wish to abuse the skills I’ve developed because I do value them. It’s a fine line I will walk. It’ll be hard not to internalize those that fall into friendship and it will be even harder to completely lose potential new friends as I’m an avid collector.
note there a new person who absolutely refuses to be a platonic friend...other suits him and he has placed himself into that category. Absolutely fascinating and frustrating but appeciated because he just may have been the catalyst to this new avenue of thought.
b. walk the line blah blah ... yeah the topic
It’s taken me awhile to open my eyes. Wide may be a bit much, I’m still more of a peeker.
A squinter, a one eye closed the other open operator. i'm naive by choice and no less wise for it. Life can be refreshing not having 'been there, done that'
Now I venture to walk the line. I leaped over the line last year and ran back across.
I’ve been eyeing it trepidatiously for a few months. I now plan to walk it.
How?
I have friends many many fine, gorgeous, cute, male friends… the looks run the gamut. And yes at least 30-40% are true friends, most sexual thoughts and intentions are done and over with we value the friendship more and proceed from there gathering what bits of energy we get from each other that is not sexual.
I’ve lived my life thus far subverting my sexual energy, for the most part. I've had mini bursts ...erm...explosions even. Though few men have had the ability to access that aspect of me, few men were given access. I’ve always had the all or nothing approach. I’m going to work to change that, not change me but enhance me. Ima try and develop some skills ya’ll.
That’s the internal.
Externally I will also try and work on that…I acknowledge the current shell was formed because of the internal workings, making me an effective and safe entity for friendship. The subconscious is a bitch.
Currently I’m walking the line between friendship and…other. It’s a serious battle against the fully developed habit of friendship. It’s a test, a form of practice at the same time I do not wish to abuse the skills I’ve developed because I do value them. It’s a fine line I will walk. It’ll be hard not to internalize those that fall into friendship and it will be even harder to completely lose potential new friends as I’m an avid collector.
note there a new person who absolutely refuses to be a platonic friend...other suits him and he has placed himself into that category. Absolutely fascinating and frustrating but appeciated because he just may have been the catalyst to this new avenue of thought.
posted by ladyfresh at 11:10 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home